Q. A reader writes, “I was wondering, should I kiss a woman on the first date? I heard you say you should not touch your date. What about the kiss at the end of the date? Should I go for the kiss then, or wait for the second date? Also, how do I know whether or not she wants to kiss me?
Finally, why should I not touch my date, and do you mean I should not touch her at all?
A. If a lady won’t kiss you on the first date, the chances of her falling deeply in love with you are slim, or the chances of her being easy to get along with and you being happy in a relationship are slim. Either way, it would not be a pretty picture.
In fact, waiting more than three dates to kiss a girl on the lips can actually make her love level drop for you… then you are going backward. Most happy couples kissed on the first date.
If she turns and you get her cheek, or if she says, “I don’t kiss on the first date”, either she is too set in her ways and thinking to rationally to open her heart and fall in love naturally, or it is just an excuse and she really does not like you. Talk is cheap. It’s as simple as that.
Early in the relationship, no touching… first of all, women like that type of touching more than men. They naturally touch first and more often. Additionally, for the most part, the first kiss is the catalyst to physical intimacy, and it opens the door to touching. Therefore, it should naturally happen first. It’s called affection. Am I talking about rocket science here?! Wait until she touches you first, unless you know exactly what you are doing and are a real ladies man. In other words, you would have to know intuitively if she wants to be touched, otherwise, it could actually turn her off.
As an example, if you wanted to get her attention and she had her back toward you, you could put your hand on her shoulder. If you want to lead her someplace, you could take her by the hand. Again, only do these things if you know for sure that she feels a romantic interest in you. If there is any doubt in your mind, keep your hands to yourself, and let her initiate affection.
You can wait until the second or third date to kiss her, but again, only if you are a real ladies man and know what you are doing… in other words, if you know she likes you and would kiss you back. In that case, after the date, she might be wondering why you did not kiss her. The key word here is “wondering”. If she is wondering about the man, she is thinking about him. If she is thinking about him, her crush, her level of love for him is growing. Do you smell what I’m cooking?!
Alternately, if you don’t know if she likes you, you should go for the kiss on the first date to determine whether she likes you or not. There is no sense taking a girl on another date that would not want to kiss you, chances are super high that you would be wasting your time and money. In that case, let her find another sucker to get her out of the house on Saturday night. You are not running a charity here!
Find out if she is just spinning your wheels, or if she really likes you at the end of the date… keep your hands off of her and lean in for the big first kiss. It’s one of the biggest moves you will ever make in your relationship. It tells you if the relationship has a chance, and exactly how much of a chance it has, based on the quality and length of the kiss. Hopefully, it will be so long and intense, you will come up gasping for air!
Click here for more articles →