Q. A reader writes, “How can a woman avoid getting involved with a married man? I’ve gone out on a couple of dates with a man, and I really like him. However, something is wrong. I suspect that he might be married. How can I find out?”
A. If you would like to weed out the married dogs who are interested in having an affair, there is something you can do. Within the first few dates, before you go too far with him:
1) Ask him for his home telephone number. Don’t just get his work or cell phone number, it may not count. Those are his personal numbers. I want you to get the number that rings at his home, where his wife is (if he has one). Some married men may want to give you the office or cell number, so there is less chance of the wife finding out, or they may not want to give you a number at all. They want to play from the sandbox that the wife is not in, from the privacy of their office and work world. The bottom line is, they don’t want to get too emotionally intimate with you, and let you get close to the main hen-house.
2) Call him on weekends / evenings. Again, he is not going to want you to invade his main intimate relationship, and would tend not to want to answer the phone and talk to you there.
3) Ask for a weekend date. Weekends are often spent with the wife if he is married… he won’t have time for you if he is already intimate with somebody else.
By approaching it this way first, you will weed out the majority of the bad boys in a natural way, without manifesting controlling behavior that might make the good guys shy away from you.
When it comes to natural relationship skills, a person can run, but they cannot hide. Do you smell what I’m cooking?