woman with white hat and apparel

Has My Traveling Girlfriend Flown the Coup Like a Snowbird Flies South for the Winter?

Q. A reader writes, “My girlfriend of one year recently left for England in September (where her roots are), and is traveling Europe until Christmas. I couldn’t go because of work.

Everything was fine until last week, when she said she just needed some space to think about what was happening. While she was over in England she was offered a job as well, which I think has some bearing.

I am confused as to what she wants. I wanted to contact her, but I thought I’d respect her wishes. I haven’t spoke to her in two weeks, except for an email today that I sent, but haven’t received a reply.

Was this a cowardly break-up method of hers? Is she coming home for Christmas? This is definitely the most messed up relationship I’ve been in. Do you have any advice?”


A. Long distance relationships are bad news because people lose touch, and women fall out of love. Women need affection, for one thing. How can you touch someone physically when you are not there? It’s impossible, and that’s part of the reason long distance relationships are a poor bet. If you feel lucky enough to have a long distance relationship, you might as well play Vegas, and that’s fixed. You are not going to win.

However, that’s not the reason this relationship is not going international. When she said she wanted space, it was her way of trying to break it to you gently that it is over, which is impossible to do when there are strong feelings of love involved.

Part of the reason they try to say it’s over without sitting you down and talking about it is because they want to avoid the confrontation. Obviously, she is right. You are already thinking she is a coward and angry. Also, they want to do it on their terms. She wants to exercise and control her free will.

It was probably over when she left. She went on a tour of the world without you? Would a woman deeply in love, the only kind worth having, want to leave her man for so long? Do you smell what she was cooking? It was not a coffee date.

Always reject and leave them first. The person that gets to leave first and make the decision gets to exercise their own free-will against the other – and it’s going to leave a mark.

However, what you can do is cut all contact with her and ignore just as quickly as you can. If she thinks she is not done rejecting you yet, you might be able to get the last word so to speak, and exercise at least a little of your own free-will.

After that, you need time to heal. Also, there are other women out there. Even though you may think you don’t want to, date other girls, it will help ease the pain. In time, you will get over it.

There are other ladies out there, and all you need is one good one. Make sure you find one that would never dream of leaving you. Women deeply in love do it better, never settle for anything else. She flew the coup all right – she is in paradise, and the bird of paradise flew up your nose.

Click here for more articles →